Weird Express

"HYPERMNESIA: Exceptionally exact or vivid memory, especially as associated with certain mental illnesses."

Source: The Free Dictionary

Lately, I have been experiencing something weird and unsettling. I hear, smell, feel and taste things that are not actually there. These are all related to my childhood memories. I smell shampoos that either no longer exist or are no longer sold in the Philippines (Prell, Lanolin Plus Shampoo with Egg, Us Shampoo, Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific), my dead grandfather's natural smell, the smell of our piggery, our backyard with the calamansi (a citrus fruit) trees, my grandmother's camphor chest, etc. I taste food that I have not eaten in ages, especially Sorbetero rocky road ice cream with cashew nuts (For Filipinos over 30: Remember the brand Sorbetero?). I can also taste my grandfather's ham sandwich (he used to make delicious ham and bacon).

Last week, I was humming a silly tune. I thought I made it up, but I also had the nagging feeling that I had heard it before. Then, the words "The Riddle" came to mind. I realized that I may be humming an old song. I immediately stopped what I was doing, went to YouTube and typed "The Riddle" and "80s." I pulled up several videos. Then, I played on the video of Nik Kershaw because that name sounded somewhat familiar. I almost fell off my chair because there was the very tune I was humming! Now, I love '80s music, but I swear that before I ran the search on YouTube, I had not listened to "The Riddle" since the summer of 1985. I don't even like the video nor the song. My apologies to Nik Kershaw and his fans, but I really find the song silly.

I began to have a veritable deja vu (because I really saw this video when I was nine) after seeing that video. I began to experience the past again. I remembered sitting on the grandfather's chair in our living room and watching the video. I recalled that it was being played from a Betamax tape borrowed from a video rental kiosk which was a part of a restaurant called Mary's Refreshment (the restaurant still exists). That Betamax tape contained MTVs which were recorded in the U.S. I also began to remember that my Tito Edward and Tita Pita hated that video and they would skip it to get to the MTV of Lionel Richie's "All Night Long." I could smell the odor of the grandfather's chair. I also recalled that I had a glass of 7-Up which had some corniks (fried, crispy corn) floating in it. I even recalled the brand name of the corniks, "Eat Bulaga," as well as the long-ish, yellow packaging and the drawing on the packaging that represented the hosts of the show "Eat Bulaga," for which the snack food was named -- Tito, Vic and Joey. I used to put my corniks in a glass of 7-Up. I just liked to eat it that way. And yes, I could taste the salty sweetness of my weird concoction.

Lately, I've been experiencing phantom odors, tastes and sensations more frequently. I do not cause this to happen. They just come out of the blue. It freaks me out sometimes because these phantom sensory experiences are not always pleasant. It's a good thing that I am not "seeing" things although I see images vividly in my mind's eye when I close my eyes. It's also noisy inside my head. I "hear" things -- snippets of conversations, lines from movies, songs, etc. It makes it hard for me to sleep at night. I only get four hours of sleep; the only way for me to get more sleep than that is for me to get dog tired or take sleep aids like Unisom or diphenhydramine.

I've always had a good memory, but I had never experienced such vivid recall. It's been almost 20 years since the whole province of Aklan changed phone numbers; we now have seven-digit phone numbers, but they used to be four-digit ones. As I kid, my folks at home used to call me a walking directory. They almost did not need a phone book; all they had to do was ask me what so and so's phone number was. Now, I have recently discovered that I can still rattle off the phone numbers that I knew as I child. I cannot say for certain that they are correct, but intuitively, I "know" they are.

By the way, I just would like to reiterate that the things that I remember are from my childhood. I do not have such vivid recollections of the more recent past.

I don't know why I'm having these experiences. It's hard to explain. Is this a sign of mental illness? Do I have a brain tumor that might be causing me to have these weird experiences (ala Izzie Stevens of "Grey's Anatomy")? It bothers and perplexes me. My best friend tells me that it may be a gift. I don't really know.

Does anybody out there have similar experiences? If so, please share it by commenting on this blog post. Please make me feel that I'm not alone.