You think your job is crappy? Well, how about trading places with these people?

1) URINE COLLECTOR (FABRIC SOFTENER) - Downey et al were not invented yet in the 13th century, so fabric softeners had to be human beings. Sheep's wool is stiff and scratchy so they had to do something to make it wearable to humans. So what did those human fabric softeners do? They collected urine, poured it on the wool and stomped on it for two hours. Talk about stinky feet.

2) TANNER - Nope, tanners of yore didn't work at a tanning salon with sun-lamp beds, assisting gorgeous men and women and watching their skin turn bronze. Instead, a tanner had to work in a secluded place, far away from towns (not within smelling distance at least), surrounded by the rotting flesh of cows. His job was to scrape the meat and hair from the cowhide and put it into a pool of dog and chicken...er...poop (Didn't I say "crappy jobs?") Well, apparently, the chemical reaction between the rotting cowhide and the feces helps make the leather, believe it or not, cleaner through a mysterious process called de-liming. So the next time you think your job is crappy, look at your shoes.

3) GROOM OF THE STOOL - This job had nothing to do with weddings and no, the stool was not a chair. The groom of the stool's boss? The king of England. His job? To be an "ass wipe." No kidding. The groom wiped the king's bum with a diamond-shaped linen called a "diper" after the latter had emptied his bowels. But don't laugh, a groom of the stool had a high standing in the king's court as he was so trusted as to be given the task of taking care of one of the king's most "delicate" parts.  He was also paid handsomely for this job which was done only once or twice a day (more if the boss had a weakened digestive system).

4) FLATULENCE ANALYST - Uhm, I guess the job title says it all. At first, I couldn't believe this was an actual job! Minneapolis gastroentorologist Michael Levitt hired two people to smell over 100 samples of fart after the subjects of his experiment ate pinto beans. Why? To find out if fart could be an accurate indicator of intestinal health.

5) FLATULENCE VOLUNTEERS - The subjects of Dr. Levitt's experiments had to stick small canisters into their rectums after eating pinto beans to collect the gas. 'Nuff said.

6) BULL MASTURBATOR - The job involves a metal fake cow with a real cow hide draped over it to attract the bull. Inside, the masturbator does his job and collects the semen in a bucket.

7) WHALE FECES RESEARCHER - Rosalind Rolland, a senior researcher at the New England Aquarium in Boston, scoops the smelly, orange, oily poo out of the ocean for analysis. She is the first scientist in history to see a whale farting. Her comment? "It stinks."

Sources 1 and 2


Bookmark and Share